ReviewEDs
by Half-Wit Ed-Boy
Summary: The Eds and my two original characters rate and review TV shows, cartoons, movies, and video games with special guest appearances. If you'd like to see your favorite TV show, cartoon, or movie reviewed and rated, tell me and it'll be reviewed and rated.
1. Episode 1

**Review-Eds**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ed, Edd, and Eddy or any of the shows, movies, or video games or the characters from them used in this fanfic, but the original characters are mine.**

Eddy, Double D, Ed, Carrie, and May are sitting in chairs in the middle of a large audience.

"Hi, folks, welcome to Review-Eds, the show where we, the Eds, Carrie, and May, review your favorite TV show, video game, or movie. I'm Eddy!"

"Greetings, viewers! I'm Double D!" Double D waves at the crowd and smiles.

"Hello, my name is Ed and I like to watch cartoons!!!!"

May groans and asks, "Why did I agree to be on this show? This is so idiotic!"

"Hello, Mr. Audience, my name is Carrie! Wait, is Audience a boy or a girl?"

Eddy says, "Okay, since this is the first episode, we let Ed decide this week's category, and it's…" A drum roll sound fills the room as Eddy pulls out an envelope. "… a mixture of TV shows/Cartoons and movies! Today, we're reviewing _Star Wars Episode I: The_ _Phantom Menace,_ the popular TV show, _Pokemon_, and an old one, _The Super Mario_ _Bros. Super Show! _First, we're reviewing _Star Wars Episode: I_. Double D, take it away!"

"Certainly, Eddy! Everyone, please welcome our first guest, Jar-Jar Binks!" Double D points to a door and an alien creature with a duck-bill-shaped mouth, long fin-like ears, and short stalked eyes walks into the room.

"Hello, boyos," the Gungan says. "Mesa called Jar-Jar Binks!"

"Yay, it's Jar-Jar!!!" Ed and Carrie squeal.

"Oh, my gosh!" May says in disbelief, her hand on her forehead.

"Anyway, Star Wars Episode I was a prequel of George Lucas' epic space-themed tale from the 70's and 80's. _The Phantom Menace_ was released in 1999, many years after George's first movie was released. The film basically sets the stage for the other films and tells of how Anakin Skywalker became Obi-Wan's apprentice and introduces the popular characters, C-3PO and R2-D2. So, Jar-Jar, tell us more about yourself!" Double D says.

"Well, mesa from Gunga City, it's under de water on de planet Naboo! But mesa have a few axedentes and den boom! Mesa banished! "

Eddy says, "Okay, now here's the part of the show where we rate this movie, show, or video game. Okay, here's what we got…"

Eddy's review:

"Wow, I haven't watched any _Star Wars _movies since I was a little kid, but now I'm not really into them. On a scale of one to ten, one being the lowest and ten being the highest, I'll give it a six. First off, why the heck did George make IV, V, and VI and _then _make I, II, and III? That just made it more confusing! And then there was Jar-Jar. If it wasn't for him, this would've gotten a 7.5 or an 8, but he practically ruined the movie! I'd recommend this movie for _Star Wars _fans or Sci-fi lovers, but if you ain't either of the two, don't watch the movie or else you're just wasting your time!"

Double D's review:

"Well, I first watched this movie with Ed, along with the other five _Star Wars _movies, and on a scale of one to ten, I give this movie a 7 respectfully. The graphics were really good for it's time and it seemed to fit the plot of the whole trilogy perfectly, but there were a few things that kept me from enjoying the movie as much as I did. First of all, there was the fight scene towards the end. For me, someone getting cut in half is way too violent! And the battle scene was pretty violent as well. And finally, I found that Jar-Jar was way overused as comic relief! George could've used him during the first and last parts, but he kind of got on my nerves towards the middle of the movie."

Ed's review:

"It was cool! I love _Star Wars _as much as I like gravy!!! I give it a big fat 10!!!!!"

Carrie's review:

"Um, I give it this gum I found under the chair!!!"

May's review:

"I rate this movie a 3. It made no sense to me and the graphics were horrible and I hate _Star Wars_!!! Jar-Jar acted inanely throughout the whole movie. And for a movie made to have futuristic technology, the spaceships and droids were extremely low-tech! I could've done a way better job at designing droids that are a lot more efficient than the droids in the movie. I've never watched any of the _Star Wars _movies except this one, and after seeing how poor the first chapter of the trilogy, I definitely won't watch any of the other movies. Jar-Jar, do us all a favor and learn to speak English and stop acting like a fool!"

Jar-Jar gasps and exclaims, "How wude!!!!"

"Yeah, how wude!!!" Carrie and Ed shout.

"What!? I'm not nude!!! You perverted alien creature!!!!" 

"No, mesa say, 'wude'!!!"

"I think he said 'food', May," Double D says.

"No, _wude!!!" _

"Oh, I get it! Dude! Jar-Jar must be one of those surfer guys!" Eddy says.

Jar-Jar sighs and says, "Just watch da movie…"

"I honestly can't understand a word you're saying! Could someone get me a translator?" May says.

"Can mesa leave now!? Yousa guys mean!"

"Fine, get out of here, you smelly _Star Wars _character!" Eddy yells. Jar-Jar walks out the door, mumbling something unpleasant under his breath.

"Eddy, that was rude!!!" Double D scolds.

"No, that was Jar-Jar!" Ed says, correcting Double D.

"Yeah, Double D, can't you call him by his right name?" Carrie asks.

"Okay, next we're rating one of the most popular anime shows that actually _was _the most popular anime show in the 90's: _Pokemon_!" Eddy says.

"This show was introduced in the U.S. in 1995 and continues to be one of the most popular shows on television. In a nutshell, the show is based around these creatures called Pokemon. They have unique abilities and people catch them using red and white 'Pokeballs' and then train them to fight each other."

"Here's our second guest, the most popular Pokemon of all time, Pikachu!!!!" Eddy points to the same door Jar-Jar came out and a yellow mouse-like creature with red cheeks and a zigzagged tail walks out.

"Pikachu! Pi! Pi!" it says.

"Ha! Ha! He said pee-pee!" Ed says, giggling.

"I don't get it…" Double D adds.

"Yeah, I could barely understand the alien guy and now I can't understand this thing at all!!!" May says.

"Aw, it looks like an onion!" Carrie says, staring at Pikachu with her eyes sparkling. "I love onions!"

"Pi???" Pikachu says in a confused tone.

"Well, since we can't understand a word this yellow rat is saying, we're going to go ahead and rate the show," Eddy says.

Eddy's review: 

"Okay, I give this show a five. I used to like Pokemon a lot, but they basically remake the same Pokemon over and over again! The only thing they really change is the appearance! However, I am impressed at how long the show has lasted: thirteen years!!! The only other show I know of that's lasted longer is Dragonball Z! Other than what I just said, I find the games really addictive, but I never understood the card game."

"Double D's review:

"I give it a 2 because I still don't get it! I can't believe people enjoy watching a show about creatures fighting each other! And what's the deal with the voice at the beginning and end of the show? I don't see any reason to have that. I find _Pokemon_ to be very confusing and I just flat out don't understand it."

"Ed's review:

"Pee-pee! Ha! Ha!"

Carrie's review:

"I don't have anything to give it but some pocket lint, so here you go!" Carrie gives Pikachu a handful of pocket lint.

May's review:

"I give this show a big fat goose egg, or in Layman's terms, a zero! Any cartoon in general is extremely bad for your brain and my studies have shown that cartoons, especially shows like _Pokemon_ and _Yu-gi-oh! _ slowly rot your brain out, so I'm afraid I can't give this show anything but a zero."

"Pika, pika!!!" the yellow rodent screams angrily.

"Whoa, Pikachu! I don't know what you just said, but I didn't like the sound of that!" Eddy shouts back. Pikachu growls at Eddy. "Hey, don't make me call animal control!!!"

"PIKACHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Pikachu electrocutes Eddy and runs offstage. May laughs at the Ed-boy.

"Geez, what's his problem?" Eddy asks.

"Maybe he had to go pee-pee!" Ed says, still laughing. Carrie's face turns red and she covers her mouth, trying to hold in her laughter.

"Okay, here's our last TV show, _The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!_" Eddy says. "And with us today, we have the stars of the show, Mario and Luigi!!" Mario and Luigi walk out of a door onto the stage.

"Hey, pizzonos! It's-a me, Mario!" Mario says with an Italian accent.

"And it's-a Luigi, too!" Luigi chimes in.

"Oh-no, you guys are plumbers!!! I'm scared of plumbers!" Carrie hides under her chair.

"Okay, this show is about Mario and Luigi's adventures in Mushroom Land just like in the games, only in cartoon form. At the beginning of every show is a small skit by two people dressed like Mario and Luigi and they sing some rap song. The show was a popular Saturday morning cartoon in the late 80's but was taken off the air in 1993."

"Hey, when do we get to eat? I'm-a starving!"

"But we ate at Burger King on the way over here, Mario!" Luigi says.

"Well, I'm hungry again!"

"Uh, we're running out of time, so can you shut up and let us rate your show!?" Eddy snaps.

"Fine, as long as I get-a something to eat!"

Eddy's review:

"I give this show a 1! I mean this show was torture to watch!!! They made so many obvious mistakes and all the jokes were so corny it wasn't even worth a laugh! The theme song and the live-action skits at the beginning also destroy this show!"

Double D's review:

"I'll also give it a 1. I found this show to lack any accurate details from the games and all the jokes were unfunny. I'd only recommend this show to small children, as it does teach some important moral lessons."

Ed's review:

"Tallyho!!!"

Carrie's review:

"Please, don't hurt me!!!"

May's review:

"First of all, this is a cartoon, so that really lowers my rating. After watching this show, I wanted to tear out my eyeballs and boil them in hot oil just for watching his horrible show! This show was so bad; I had nightmares the night after I watched it! I give it a zero!"

"Okay, our show is rated, now can we please go get something to eat?"

"Fine, we'll go!"

As the two super-powered plumbers walk out the door, Mario shouts, "Tallyho!"

"Shut up, Mario!" Luigi says.

"Well, that's all the time we have for today, folks! If you'd like to have your favorite video game, cartoon, anime, TV show, or movie rated by us, please submit that request in a review!" Eddy announces. "Bye, folks!"

"Goodbye, and don't talk to any strangers!" Double D says, waving at the audience.

"Season's greetings!" Ed says.

"Wait, where are you going!? COME BACK!!!!!" Carrie shouts.

"Please don't review so I won't have to relive this torture!" May says.

Pikachu pops up out of nowhere and says, "Pika!"

Mario and Luigi fall from the ceiling and land on their feet. "See ya later," they both say at the same time.

"Bye-bye, boyos!" Jar-Jar says, waving.

"Hey, what are you doing here!? I thought you guys were leaving!!!" Eddy shouts.

"Well, wesa came to say bye!" Jar-Jar explains.

"Fine, you said goodbye, now this show is over, so LEAVE!!!!!!!"

Half-wit Ed-boy's note: If you'd like to see your favorite cartoon, movie, or video game rated, please tell me in a review. The opinions expressed are not my own and are of the characters, so please don't get mad that your favorite character was made fun of. I'm just trying to make the characters act like they normally would in this situation. Thank you!


	2. episode 2

**Episode 2**

The Eds, Carrie, and May are sitting in comfortable chairs and are surrounded by a large audience and several TV cameras.

"I don't know, Sockhead!" Eddy snaps. "Why don't you just…"

"Um, we're on the air!" A cameraman says.

"Oh, hello, folks!" Eddy says, smiling and waving at the camera. "Welcome back to Review-Eds! I'm Eddy!" 

"And, uh, I'm Double D!"

"Wait, what am I doing here again?" Carrie asks.

"No! I told you not to review! Oh, who am I kidding? No one ever listens to me!" May says.

"My real name is Charles Lee Ray!" Ed declares.

"Shut up, Ed!"

"THAT'S CHARLES LEE RAY, NOT ED!!!!!" Carrie shouts.

"Whatever! Let's get this show on the road. This week, we're doing a special on Anime cartoons, and the ones the fans have picked out for us are _Sonic X_, _MAR_, and _Bobobo-bo-bobobo_," Eddy says.

"Okay, our first show is _Sonic X,_" Double D says. "It's an anime based on the popular Nintendo games featuring Sonic the Hedgehog, only Sonic and his friends find themselves on Earth. There Sonic meets a boy named Chris and Chris helps Sonic find his friends, along with the mysterious Chaos Emeralds. These emeralds have the power to transport Sonic and his friends back to their own dimension, and eventually they return to their homes, only to face more dangers from Dr. Eggman, Dark Oak, and a mysterious character known as Nazo. And with us today, we have Sonic and Tails!" Sonic and Tails appear from backstage and wave at the crowd.

"Why are we here again, Sonic?" Tails asks.

"I don't know, little bro," Sonic answers.

"You're here to get your show rated!" Eddy says. Carrie walks up to the blue hedgehog and starts poking him.

"Ha, ha! He's prickly!" Carrie says.

"Hey, cut that out!" Sonic smacks Carrie's hand away.

"So, Sonic," Eddy says. "What's it like having to share the title of 'Nintendo's Official Mascot', as you've been so often called, with that plumber, Mario?"

"Actually, it's not that bad. Mario's an okay guy and…"

"NO HE'S NOT!!!!" Carrie screams, interrupting Sonic. "HE'S A PLUMBER, AND PLUMBERS ARE EVIL!!!!!!! EEEEEEVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Um, is she always like that?" Tails asks.

"Unfortunately," May answers.

"Okay, let's rate this show!" Eddy announces.

Eddy's review:

"I'm not much of an anime fan, but I think Sonic is awesome! The show is pretty cool and it still kept Sonic's original personality! That was a major bonus! However, I liked _The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog_ better because it was funnier. Overall, I give it a 9. A good show, but I'm not much of an anime fan."

Double D's review:

"I give it an 8. The concept of the show was pretty good and the characters were true to their personalities, but there was some violence that I didn't agree with."

Ed's review:

"Sonic is cool! I give the show a 10!!!!!!!"

Carrie's review:

"Sonic is prickly! He might accidentally bump into someone and hurt them! Then again, it'd be pretty cool to be covered in spikes! I'd be like some sort of spiky superhero and fight the evil Bacon Men and save the Gristle of Commander Egg Salad! I like egg salad, especially with gravy! Gravy is good on other things, like toast, ketchup, cookies, shoes, gravy, and history books."

May's review:

"It isn't very often that a cartoon based on a video game comes out that actually captures the personality of the characters in said game perfectly. Even though I felt that this show came short of meeting that criterion, it came pretty close. This show's plot was actually accurate to the three SEGA games it was based on, _Sonic Adventure 1_ and _2, _and a bit of _Sonic Battle._ I think I'll give this show an overall rating of 7.7"

"Whoa, we actually got some pretty high ratings, eh, Sonic?"

"Yeah, Tails, these guys are okay. Well, we're gone." Sonic and Tails walk out the door.

The camera zooms in on Eddy. "Okay, folks, our next show is a popular anime on Toonami Jetstream called _Mar. _It aired on Toonami for a few months, but was removed due to declining popularity on Jetstream and due to the low ratings it got on Toonami."

"That's right, Eddy. Like most anime, _Mar_ started out as a manga, but was soon transformed into an anime due to popular demand. The story centers around a boy known as Ginta Toramizu, who dreams and obsesses on another world and is ridiculed for doing so by most of his classmates and even his own mother. But one day, his wish to escape to this 'dream world' came true when a clown-like creature appeared in his classroom and took him to Mar. There he meets several characters and joins them on a quest to defeat an evil society known as the Chess Pieces. Please welcome our second guests, the main characters in the show, Ginta and Babbo!" Double D points at a blond boy walking through a door. Suddenly, a hand reaches from behind the door, grabs him and pulls him inside. A pink-haired teenaged girl runs out in his place.

"DOUBLE D!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screams.

"DOROTHY!!!????" The sock-hatted Ed-boy replies in confusion. The next thing he knows, Dorothy has her arms wrapped around his neck, squeezing him as hard as she can. "I can't breathe!!!!!!"

"Hey, no suffocating the hosts, you pink-haired clown!" Eddy snaps.

"Shut up, Frog-face!"

"Ha, ha, Double D's face is turning blue!!!" Carrie laughs as Double D's face changes several shades of blue. Ed joins in on the laughter.

"What happened to Ginta and Babbo?" Eddy asks.

"Oh, they forgot about some important thing they had to be at and they couldn't miss it!" Dorothy lies. Meanwhile, outside the studio, Ginta and Babbo are stuffed in a trash can and bound with duct tape.

"She's not supposed to be here! May, your freak of a friend is ruining the show!!!!"

"Shut up, Eddy!" May answers. "I'm trying to see how many colors Double D will change before he passes out."

"Uh, I think we'll skip the character interview and rate the show before Sockhead becomes unable to give a rating…"

Eddy's review:

"This is a classic anime, and like I said before, I'm not really big on anime cartoons, except for DBZ. I actually LIVED the anime, which really ruined the whole experience for me. The plot's pretty interesting. A really unpopular boy with no athletic ability goes to another world and becomes a hero and the love interest of some really attractive women. I give it a 7.9. Like I said before, I'm not a big anime fan and there was also another thing wrong with the show: Dorothy! I can't stand her! I mean…"

A random camera guy interrupts Eddy. "Hey, move it along, or else we won't have time for the last show!"

"Fine, just read the producer's other fanfics to see why I hate the pink-haired freak... Anyway, it was pretty cool seeing chess nerds getting beat up. I hate chess…"

Double D's review:

"Can't…breathe…a 10…I…guess……" Double D passes out.

Ed's review:

"I don't know…I give it a Jar-Jar Binks!"

Jar-Jar appears out of nowhere. "How wude!"

Carrie's review:

Double D! Different colors! Funny!!!"

May's review:

"Oh, don't start with those jokes again!" Jar-Jar leaves, swearing under his breath. "Now where was I? Oh, yes, the anime, _Mar._ Basically, it's one gigantic crossover between all sorts of fairy tales and stories such as The Wizard of Oz, Jack and the Beanstalk, and some mythology such as Norse and even a bit of Greek, Babylonian, and Biblical mythology. The concept is good, but not great, nevertheless, I believe this deserves a well-earned 8, and that's not just because my friend Dorothy is in it."

"Okay, the review is over, so that means it's time for you to leave!!!" Eddy points his finger at the door.

"Fine, just remember, I know where you sleep!" Dorothy threatens as she goes backstage.

"Now, someone wake Casanova up over there!" Eddy demands. A stage hand immediately pours a bucket of water on Double D and he wakes up.

"At least I can breathe again…" Double D says, gasping for breath.

"Sit down, Sockhead; we have one more show to do. Okay, our next show is _Bobobo-bo-bobobo._ In a nutshell, this is an anime meant to be funny and silly. The show focuses around this guy named Bobobo-bo-bobobo, or Bobobo for short."

"That's right, Eddy. The main plot of the anime centers around Bobobo and his other friends collectively called The Nonsense Nine, who are all rebels against an evil empire called the Chromedome Empire. The show is mainly a comedy, with Bobobo acting silly the entire time and most of the characters making jokes and references to other anime cartoons and TV shows. This show is also viewable on Toonami Jetstream and has had episodes aired on Cartoon Network's Fridays, Toonami, and on Disney's Jetix. Now, please welcome our final two guests, Bobobo and Don Patch!" Double D motions towards the stage door and a large, muscular man wearing a blue shirt and sunglasses steps out onstage. He also has a large, blond afro and following him is a small, round red-colored creature covered in spikes. He has an I-pod in his hand and he's wearing earphones.

"Don, turn that thing off! All we listened to all the way here is that dumb band, Skillet!" Bobobo, the man, demands. He takes Don Patch's I-pod and turns it off.

"Hey, I was listening to _Comatose_! It's my favorite song!"

"I came here to win an infinite supply of white bread and fish tacos, not listen to some hippity-hoppity junk!" Bobobo yells.

"Hey, over here, you two! We're on the air!" A cameraman yells.

"We're on the air!?" Don Patch screams. He pushes Bobobo down. "Hi, folks, I'm the main hero in _Bobobo-bo-bobobo_ and…" Suddenly, Bobobo jumps off the ground and tackles Don. The two begin fighting.

"Hey, you guys shut up and get over here so we can rate your show!" Eddy yells. Bobobo and Don stop fighting.

"Rate our show? I was told I was here to win an unlimited supply of white bread and fish tacos!" Bobobo says.

"I want fish tacos!" Carrie whines.

Bobobo's afro opens up and a flashing arrow pops out of it at Ed. "You! You said I was going on a game show and that I'd be able to win all the white bread and fish tacos I could eat! You sick liar!!!"

Ed just smiles and says, "Gravy!"

"Don't gravy me, you liar! I want my white bread and fish tacos!" Bobobo stamps his foot on the ground like some little kid.

"Would you two shut up so we can rate your show and end ours!?" May asks. "This isn't a talk show!"

"Fine, but we better get something good!" Don says.

Eddy's review:

"Oh-kay!? This is one of the weirdest shows I've ever seen. There was some action in it, but more comedy than action. It deserves an 8."

Double D's review:

"I guess I give it an 8 as well. At least the violence is meant to be comic, like in an American cartoon. However, some of the jokes were a little vulgar, so I give it an eight also."

Ed's review:

"I give it ten chicken eggs and a shoelace! It made me laugh."

Carrie's review:

"I want fish tacos…"

May's review:

"This show was completely idiotic! There was absolutely no point to watching this poor excuse for a cartoon! No offense to my friend Carrie, but it looks like something she and Ed would come up with! A guy who can talk to hair!? Hair doesn't have feelings! Hair is made up of protein and therefore isn't even alive! I give it a 3."

"Nice! Two eights, ten eggs, and a shoelace! You people aren't bad!" Bobobo says. He turns to May. "As for you, you wouldn't know a good show if a chicken laid an egg in that bandanna of yours and flew off to Calcutta!"

"What's that supposed to mean!?" May asks, quite irritated with the afro-headed man.

"And another thing, I don't like having everything I learned about hair from Eboji trashed by some person who wears a snot-rag on her head!!!"

"THAT'S IT!!!!! KISS YOUR FACE GOODBYE!!!!!!!!" May rolls her fist up and throws it at Bobobo. Bobobo picks up Don Patch and hides behind him. After May's pummeling, Don is barely conscious and Bobobo is unharmed.

"I can't feel my legs…" Don groans.

"Boy, she sure did a number on you, Don! I'm so glad you were here to protect me, or else that could've been me!"

"I've had it with these guys!" Eddy says.

"Yeah, they're kind of annoying…" May adds, knocking dirt off her hands.

"Fine, we'll leave! C'mon Don, we'll go let you buy me all the white bread I can eat and afterwards, we'll delete all of those Skillet songs on your I-pod!" Don Patch groans in disgust.

"Well, that's our show for this week!" Eddy says, smiling at the audience. "Bye for now!"

"Oreo's for breakfast? This could be the start of a very cool day!" Ed says.

"Goodbye!" Double D says.

"Please send me a pickled zombie brain when you get to Canada!" Carrie says, smiling at the camera. The audience stares at her.

"I told you not to review! Look what I had to go through!" May screams.

Suddenly, Sonic and Tails appear. "Bye, folks!"

"DOUBLE D!!!!!!!!!" Dorothy suddenly flings herself at Double D and glomps him.

"I want to say goodbye!" Don says, trying to wrestle Bobobo to the ground.

"Get off me!" Bobobo pulls him off, slams him on the ground, and steps on him.

"Hey, what are you all doing back here!?" Eddy asks.

"Get used to it! Every show will end like this!" Sonic says.

"Yeah…" Don says, still being crushed by Bobobo's foot.

Note: The ratings and reviews are strictly to keep the hosts in character and are not, in any way, meant to bash the shows, movies, or video games used in this fanfic. If you'd like to see your favorite TV show, movie, or video game rated and reviewed, please tell me and it will appear in a future episode. Next week will be movies, but feel free to suggest other things as well.


	3. Episode 3

**Episode 3**

"Hello, folks, welcome to another exciting episode of Review-Eds! I'm Eddy!" Eddy says.

"I'm Eddward, or Double D for short."

"I wish I didn't have to go through this every week…" May complains.

"I wish the cameramen would bring me cookies," Carrie says.

"Hello, my name is Ed, and this is the part where your host, Eddy, will now eat Ichigo Kurosaki!"

"Ed, shut up!" Eddy yells. "Okay, this week, we're reviewing movies, and the movies we're reviewing are _The Incredibles, Dragonball Z: The Tree of Might, _and _Gremlins._ And, of course, we will have guest stars from all three of these films, and we don't have to pay them anything! All right, Double D, tell the viewers about our first movie, _The Incredibles._"

"Okay, Eddy! _The Incredibles _is a Disney/Pixar film about a family of superheroes who, at the beginning of the film, are trying to keep their abilities a secret. Eventually, Bob, the man of the house, tires of listening to police scanners and travels to a deserted island to fight a giant robot, only to find himself captured by Syndrome, a former fan-boy of Mr. Incredible: Bob's alter ego. His wife comes after him after learning he has resumed his superhero work and comes after him, the kids stowing away in her jet. Eventually, Syndrome nearly destroys the city with a giant robot, but the family of superheroes foils his evil plan to make himself a hero by defeating it himself. Here with us today, we have the whole family! Please give a warm welcome for Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, Violet, Dash, and Jak-Jak!!!"

The crowd cheers and claps, but suddenly falls silent when a short Eurasian woman wearing thick glasses and a black dress walks through the stage door. She has a rolled-up fashion magazine clenched in her fist.

"Someone call security!" Eddy cries. The woman smacks him in the face with her magazine.

"Shut up!" She says. "I am Edna Mode. I'm sorry, but Mr. Incredible and his family were unable to make it due to circumstances beyond their control and so they sent me here to take their place." She walks up to Carrie.

"Hi, my name is Carrie and I'm…"

"What you are, darling, is too skinny! When you get home, put some meat on those bones and quit starving yourself!" Edna snaps. She walks up to May. "And you, take that rag off your head! You look like my maid!" Edna snatches May's bandanna off her head. A vein bulges on May's forehead and she nearly punches Edna, but Double D holds her back.

Edna then walks up to Double D. "I'm sorry about my friend's temper. I'm sure…"

"You have an interesting taste in headwear, darling!" Edna states, interrupting Double D. She feels of his hat and recoils in disgust. "Yuck! Your headwear may be interesting, but the material is all wrong! Come see me after the show and we'll make your beanie the most coveted piece of headwear this century." Edna then trots up to Ed, who is grinning stupidly and waving at her. "You, sir, need a full image makeover! Ugh, and a shower. Darling, there's a new invention called soap I think you should try."

"NO!!!!!!!! NOT THE SOAP!!!!!!!! SOAP BAD FOR ED!!!!!!!" Ed hides under his chair in fear as Edna marches up to Eddy.

"If you say one word, I'll…"

"SHUT UP!!!" Edna yells. "Sit up straight! Shoulders back! Eat your vegetables!" She throws a plate of broccoli, asparagus, and broccoli in his lap.

"But I don't…"

"I SAID EAT!!!!" Edna slaps Eddy with her paper and Eddy finishes off the veggies.

"There, I ate them, now can we please rate the movie!?"

"Yes, but make it quick! I have a meeting with Superman about his new costume at four and I can't be late!"

Eddy's review:

"Ugh, I can't get this broccoli taste out of my mouth! Anyway, the movie was pretty entertaining, even though it was computer-animated. I'd give it a nine, but because I was forced to eat broccoli, I'm only giving it a six!" Edna slaps him. "Ouch! Would you stop that!?"

Double D's review:

"I found it pretty enjoyable, other than the violence. Too many cartoons and movies these days focus on violence! The graphics were pretty fair for a computer-generated movie and the music was catchy, so I give it an eight."

Ed's review:

"No soap for Ed, NO SOAP FOR ED!!!!!!!!!"

Carrie's review:

"…….Does this mean I get to eat all I want when I get home!!!??? YAY!!!!!"

May's review:

"Low-tech robots, people with unnatural abilities, this movie has it all! If you're making a movie, you should at least make it scientifically accurate! However, the heroes were pretty creative and it did have a certain charm to it, so I guess I'll be nice and give it a seven."

"If that is all, then I will be leaving now, darlings! Goodbye!"

"Goodbye and good riddance!" Eddy says. Edna slaps him and walks offstage. "Okay, the next movie we're reviewing is _Dragonball Z: The Tree of Might._"

"In _Dragonball Z: The Tree of Might, _the Z-fighters face off against Turles, a Saiyan warrior who bears a striking resemblance to Goku, the main character in the movie. He along with his alien cronies plant a seed, growing a tree called the Tree of Might. The tree threatens to suck the planet Earth of its life and leave it a barren desert. Goku eventually destroys the tree along with Turles, saving the planet yet again. And here with us today, we have Goku and his son, Gohan!"

The crowd claps as a man and a boy step onto the stage. Both are wearing an orange gi and have black, messed up hair, the man's hair longer.

"Hey, what are we doing here, Gohan?" Goku asks his son.

"I don't know, Dad. I think these people need our help with something."

"Hey, how come whenever some characters come to our show, they forget why they're here, despite the fact that we send them a letter explaining everything?" Eddy asks.

"Maybe it's this free soda I sent them that I found in May's lab," Carrie says, holding up a bottle.

"Carrie, that solution is meant for wiping out the memories of spies who try to steal my research!!!" May shouts.

"Oops! Sorry!" Carrie apologizes. Ed runs up to Goku.

"Hey, Goku, can I ask you a question?" Ed asks.

"Sure, kid! Whatcha need?"

"If you were to face Naruto in the World Martial Arts Tournament, which one of you would win?"

"Uh, I don't even know who this Naruto kid is…"

"You could take 'em, Dad! No one can beat you!" Gohan says.

"Well, I don't know about that, Gohan, but…"

"Ed, quit bothering the guests! This isn't a talk show!!!" Eddy shouts.

"Okay, Eddy!" Ed sits back down.

"Good, now let's rate this movie so we can move on!"

Eddy's review:

"An automatic 10! As I've said before, I only like a few anime shows and movies, but DBZ is one of the best. And this is in movie form, which is even better! It still retains the natural artwork of the show; there's no computer graphics and it keeps the original flow of the show. So, yep, definitely a 10!"

Double D's review:

"I refuse to give this movie a high rating! I'm giving it a 3.5! There's nothing but violence in this movie! Is this what this world has come to, relying on senseless violence for entertainment!?"

Ed's review:

"Oh, yeah, well Double D has a stinky hat, as this is a cool movie! It has aliens from outer space and big plants and even a giant destructive monkey that could shoot energy blasts from its mouth! I give it a ten!"

Carrie's review:

"Aliens are cool! Some can spew acid from their mouths and turn invisible and…."

"Wrong movie, Carrie!" May says.

May's review:

"I'm not as hard on the violence as Double D, but I'm not giving this film a high rating, either. It was too bland and too much like the show. And a lot of things really left me asking questions about some characters and other things that I don't have time to mention, so therefore, I give it a 2."

"A three and a half and a two!? A THREE AND A HALF AND A TWO!!!!!!!!!!!! We come all the way here and you give us a lousy 3.5 and a 2! And Ed was right, Double D, your hat smells bad! C'mon, Gohan, I'll buy you an ice-cream!" Goku and Gohan fly through the ceiling.

"Come again!" Ed shouts.

"I want an ice-cream, too…" Carrie says.

"Okay, time for our last movie, _Gremlins_. It's about a kid named Billy who gets a creature called a mogwai from his father named Gizmo. Gizmo seems innocent and harmless at first, but after water is accidentally spilled on him, he multiplies and eventually, his spawns wreak havoc and eat after midnight, which is one thing you shouldn't do if you own a mogwai. The spawns form cocoons and hatch later into gremlins who are led by Stripe. Even though the others are killed, Stripe makes more by jumping into a swimming pool. The gremlins wreak havoc across town, but are killed when they were caught in the explosion of the theatre, where they were watching _Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, _the Disney version. Stripe had left earlier and was chased into a department store. He's killed before he can spawn more gremlins by Gizmo, who exposes him to sunlight." Double D says, explaining the movie. "Everyone please welcome our last guest, Stripe!"

A hideous gremlin with a white Mohawk walks onstage.

"What's up?" He asks, folding his arms. Double D puts his feet in the chair and recoils in fear.

"Hi, mom!" Ed shouts.

"What the heck!? I'm not your mom, you _beep_!!!!!!!" Strips yells.

"Did you just call me a _beep_?" Ed asks.

"Ha, ha, YES I DID!!!!"

Eddy's review:

"Whoa! Just for sayin that, I rate your movie a 0!"

May's review:

"Same here! That was completely uncalled for!"

Ed's review:

"Ha, ha! Stripe said a bad word!"

Carrie's review:

"I don't get it; all he did was make a beeping noise. That's not bad, just funny!"

Double D's review:

"I give it a 10!!!!"

"Hold on! You just gave him a ten after he cussed on our show!?" Eddy asks, flabbergasted.

"I'M AFRAID HE'LL HURT ME, EDDY!!!!!"

"You know what? You're all a bunch of losers! I'm going to go have some fun!" Stripe runs outside, followed by the Eds, Carrie, and May. He runs next door, which is Rolf's house and steals his tractor. "So long, suckers!!!!" Stripe drives away, smashing Rolf's fence. All of Rolf's animals escape.

"ED-BOYS!!!! YOUR UGLY FRIEND HAS STOLEN ROLF'S TRACTOR, BROKEN ROLF'S FENCE, AND FRIGHTENED AWAY ROLF'S LIVESTOCK!!!!!!!!!" Rolf screams. "ROLF WILL NOW INFLICT PAIN ON YOU!!!!!!!!"

"Well, that's all the time we have, folks, so bye!" Eddy runs away along with Ed and Double D.

"RUN AWAY!!!!!!!" The Eds scream as Rolf chases them, swinging a big club over his head. May and Carrie watch them run down the street.

"Hey, Carrie, do you still want that ice-cream?" May asks.

"YAY!!!! ICE-CREAM!!!!!!!" Carrie squeals.

Note: The ratings and reviews are strictly to keep the hosts in character and are not, in any way, meant to bash the shows, movies, or video games used in this fanfic. If you'd like to see your favorite TV show, movie, or video game rated and reviewed, please tell me and it will appear in a future episode. Also, don't be upset that you didn't see your requested movie/show/video game in this show. All of which will appear in a future episode of Review-Eds eventually and decision is determined by a nice invention called a dart board. (Though I'm not that good at playing darts…) Anywho, next week is video games! (Feel free to post other stuff though. I have a feeling this will be going on for a long, long time!)-Half-wit Ed-boy


	4. Episode 4

**Episode 4**

"Welcome back to another episode of Review-Eds!" Eddy announces. "I'm Eddy!"

"Greetings! I'm Double D!" Double D says.

"I wish I could go home!" May says.

"Yay, I'm on TV!" Carrie says.

"And I'm Frank!" Ed announces.

"Shut up, Ed!" Eddy snaps. "Okay, this week we're reviewing video games, and the games we've chosen are _Super Smash Bros. Melee, The Legend of Zelda, _and _Pikmin. _Okay, Double D, our info gatherer, tell us a little about our first game, _Super Smash Bros._!"

"Certainly, Eddy! _Super Smash Bros. Melee _is a fighting game for the Gamecube containing many popular Nintendo-based characters such as Mario, Fox McCloud, and many others. Up to four players can play, either two on two, or in every-man-for-himself battles."

"Okay, folks, please welcome our first guests, Fox McCloud, Kirby, Marth, and…" Suddenly, Eddy is interrupted by something heavy falling through the roof.

"Hello, folks! It's-a-me, Mario!" Mario yells, crawling out from the shattered pieces of the ceiling.

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! A PLUMBER!!!!!!!!!" Carrie screams.

"MARIO!!!!!!!" Fox yells. "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!!!!!!"

"Yeah," Eddy adds. "What happened to Yoshi? He was the one who was supposed to be here, not you!"

"Well, I sent him on a…'trip'!" Mario answers sinisterly. Everyone gasps in horror.

Meanwhile, on a cruise ship in the Caribbean, the green dinosaur-like creature is lounging on a beach chair, happily sipping fruit punch.

"Well, now that we know what happened to Yoshi, let's get this show on the road!" Kirby says.

Ed smiles at him and says, "Hello, Dan Kubat!"

"What the?" Kirby says, freaked out.

"That's Ed…" Eddy points out. "Don't ask, because we still haven't figured out what's wrong with him yet…"

"So, you're the kids that are going to rate the game we're on," Fox says. "We better get good ratings. We worked harder than ever putting that game together with the Nintendo guys and we didn't get paid extra!"

Eddy's review:

"You don't have to worry about a bad review from me, Fox! This game is flat out awesome! Loads of unlockables, tons of playable characters, and the multiplayer is the best feature because I can kick Sockhead and Monobrow's butt easier! I give it a 10, hands down!"

Double D's review:

"Although I find it to be violent, I'll give it a nine…OH WHAT AM I SAYING!!!??? I love this game! It's a great game to play with your friends, it has tons of playable worlds, and the power-ups are awesome! I give it a 10 also! And Eddy, you've never won a game in your life! Ed always kills you!"

"That's because Ed edge-camps!" Eddy snaps.

"So do you, Eddy!" Double D states. Eddy growls, knowing he's been beat.

Ed's review:

"Ha, ha, I play this game all the time with Eddy! I give it a Yoshi Cookie!

Carrie's review:

"Hey, that's my Yoshi Cookie!" Carrie steals the Yoshi Cookie and eats it.

May's review:

"I think I'll give it a 9.8. The graphics are great…for a Gamecube game, and the playability is quite high, but the worlds are a little cramped for me. I like having a lot of room to fight in fighting games."

"I wanted that cookie…" Mario whines.

"Shut up! You're not even supposed to be here!" Marth says.

"Thanks for the high ratings and the cookie we never really got…" Fox says. "Sorry about Mario putting a hole in your roof. I think we'll have to teach Mario a lesson about coming when he's uninvited and about smashing through roofs…" Fox, Kirby, and Marth grab Mario and drag him offstage.

"Are we a-going to-a Pizza Hut?" Mario asks.

"NO!!!!" Kirby, Fox, and Marth yell.

"Uh, someone better call the paramedic, just in case…" Eddy says. "Anyway, our next game is the _Legend of Zelda _series. Since there's so many Zelda games, we decided to rate them all. Okay, Double D, do your job and tell them about the games.

"But Eddy, I'm busy calling that paramedic!"

"Fine, I'll tell them, but you owe me one, Sockhead! The _Legend of Zelda _games are produced by Nintendo, the same as _Super Smash Bros._ The games focus around a green elfish character named Link. Link travels around Hyrule with his sword, either using some sort of crazy item, such as the Minish Cap and the Ocarnia, or trying to save Zelda. And our next guest is Link!" A guy with pointy-elf-like ears and a green costume walks through the door. He has a sword on his back.

"Hello, everybody!" Link says.

"Eddy, the ambulance is on its way," Double D says.

"No!!! You broke my jar of spaghetti sauce!!!!" Mario screams from offstage. "How am I supposed to make my famous spaghetti now?"

"SHUT UP, MARIO!!!!" Fox yells. BLAM!!!!! The sound of a laser firing fills the room and Mario yelps.

"Um, anyway, let's rate the Zelda games!" Eddy says.

Eddy's review:

"They're all pretty cool, except in some of the games, the camera angles are a little off. I rate them at a 9.4. Although some of the games have bad camera angles, they're otherwise pretty good-looking games!"

Double D's review:

"Well, I haven't played any of the Zelda games but the _Wind Waker. _Link is the character I like using on _Super Smash Bros. Melee _just because of that game. Therefore I give them a 10."

Ed's review:

"Link is short, like Eddy!" Eddy growls. "And he wears a hat like Double D! I shall nickname him: DOUBLE EDDY!!!!! Or maybe I'll call him Bob…" Everyone stares at Ed.

Carrie's review:

"Can I borrow your pointy-thing for a second?" Carrie asks Link.

"Um, I guess, just give it back when you're done, please," Link says, handing her his Master Sword. Carrie swings it and accidentally cuts the tip of Double D's hat off, cuts her chair in half, and cuts Eddy's belt in two, causing his pants to fall down, revealing his red polka-dotted boxers. Eddy screams in embarrassment and the crowd laughs.

May's review:

"Um, I think you should give Link back his sword, Carrie!" Carrie reluctantly does as she's told and Link puts it back in its sheath. "Okay, the games are all pretty good and have a unique art-style to them. Although some games do have a slight camera angle problem, it's not a significant drawback. I give it a 10."

"Whoa, thanks, guys!" Link says. "And, don't worry, Eddy, since I travel a lot, I have an extra outfit you can borrow…"

Minutes later, Eddy is dressed like Link and May is trying to suppress her laughter.

"This thing chafes me! How the heck does Link fight with this thing on?" Eddy asks.

"Let's just review our last game, _Pikmin._ _Pikmin _is another Nintendo game, only it's about a spaceman named Olimar who crash-lands on a planet. There he encounters strange plant-animal hybrid creatures called Pikmin. He finds that he's able to control them and uses the creatures to get the missing parts to his spaceship, while avoiding and fighting enemies that eat the Pikmin or protect the ship parts. Our final guest is Captain Olimar!" A short man wearing a red spacesuit walks onstage. He has a big nose and pointy ears.

"Hello, Olimar…." Before Eddy can finish talking, a thousand short creatures pile onstage. They're colored red, yellow, and blue and have leaves growing out of their heads. "What the? I thought we told you not to bring these annoying little things!"

"Yeah, well they insisted on coming."

"Well, if they cause trouble I'll…" Suddenly, Eddy is interrupted by Mario running across the stage, pursued by Fox, Marth, and Kirby. Fox pulls out a laser gun and blasts Mario in the backside. He fires at the super-powered plumber again, but he misses, putting a few holes in the wall. Mario retaliates by spitting fireballs out of his mouth. Fox dodges the slow attack, leaving it to nearly hit the Eds! They dodge in the nick of time, but their chairs are destroyed.

"Hey, you guys were supposed to leave!" Eddy screams.

"Sorry, but we're trying to get Mario in the ambulance waiting out back!" Marth yells.

"You'll never-a take me alive!" Mario yells, eating a mushroom. He grows to a tremendous size.

"Quick, Kirby, eat him!" Fox yells.

"No way! I don't know where he's been!"

"You've eaten everything else!"

"Well, I get paid!"

Mario destroys the stage as Fox fires at him. He hits Mario's nose, calling him to fall backwards. The other shots hit the ceiling, making several large holes.

Eddy's rating:

"Well, I'll rate _Pikmin _a…" Mario falls on top of Eddy and the stage catches fire. Mario panics and smashes through the wall, making a huge hole. Fox tries to follow, but Carrie steals his laser gun.

"What's this thing?" She blasts Fox, sending him running. Amused, Carrie starts blasting everything. Eddy stands to his feet, and walks up to the only camera operating.

"Well, I guess that's it for this week's show!" He says in a daze. "I hope you had fun! Next week is classic cartoon shows…" Suddenly, the Pikmin grab Eddy and start carrying him away. Carrie aims the laser gun at the camera and fires.


	5. Episode 5

**Episode 5**

The Eds, May, and Carrie are sitting in Ed's basement, surrounded by TV cameras.

"You could've at least cleaned your basement before we came down here, Ed!" May complains. She's wearing a radiation suit.

"My place is the cat's tuxedo!" Ed exclaims.

"Shut up, we've started!" Eddy snaps. "Uh, hi folks! Due to what happened last time, we've had to relocate to Ed's room to broadcast our show. And sorry the game _Pikmin _didn't get rated. We've decided to go ahead and give it a 10 as a way of apologizing to the people that worked on the game. Anyway, this week we're doing classic cartoons."

"That's right, Eddy," Double D says, "and this week we're reviewing Yogi Bear, Ren and Stimpy, and…Ed, Edd n Eddy!?"

"Must be a typo, Double D," May says, looking at the card in Double D's hand. "I guess we should go on and see who the last guests are."

"Go on where?" Carrie asks. "Are we going on a bus!? I love riding the bus!!!! It has a funny smell and there's free gum under the seats!" Double D and May stare at Carrie.

"Um, oh-kay!?" Eddy says, freaked out. "Our first show is about two bears named Yogi and Booboo who live at Jellystone National Park. They're kinda like me, always coming up with ways to steal picnic baskets and getting in trouble with Ranger Smith. They've starred in a few movies and have made some cameo appearances."

"Hey, that was my job, Eddy!" Double D shouts.

"Well, ya snooze, ya loose, Sockhead!"

"Anyway," Double D says, "our first guests are the stars of the popular Hanna-Barbara cartoon themselves, Yogi and Booboo!" The two bears walk on stage. One is wearing a green hat and a tie and the other is a lot shorter.

"It feels good to be back on TV, eh, Booboo!" Yogi says, looking at the camera. "They even have these genuine TV cameras!"

"I guess it's better than sitting in a cave all day and…"

"Shhhhh!!!! Remember what I told you, Booboo, what happens in the cave, stays in the cave!"

"So, how have you guys been doing since your show was put on Boomerang?" Eddy asks.

"Lousy! All we do is sit in the woods while tourists drive by squealing, 'Look at the bears! Look at the bears!'"

"Ouch, that's pretty bad! Now let's rate the show!"

Eddy's review:

"A 9.5. I'm not a big fan of Hanna-Barbara cartoons. The only one I like really well is Top Cat. Me and him get along real well! Anyway, the only character I didn't like real well was Ranger Smith. He was an annoying party-crasher!"

Double D's review:

"Well, I give it a 10. The artwork is easily recognizable as a Hanna-Barbara cartoon and there's actually very little violence in it, besides the tourists throwing things at Yogi and his pal when they steal picnic baskets…"

"Ed's review:

"Ice is nice, especially with rice!"

Carrie's review:

"He's not getting my food!"

"You have food!?" Yogi exclaims. "Lemme see!!!" Suddenly, Carrie bites him. "YEEOUCH!!!!!"

May's review:

"Carrie, don't bite the guests! Anyway, I'll give it an eight. I personally thought it needed a little more cartoon violence to put it up to par with other classics like Tom and Jerry and the Looney Tunes cartoons."

"Thanks for the ratings...NOW TELL YOUR FRIEND TO LET ME GO!!!!!!!!"

"CARRIE, I SAID NOT TO BITE THE GUESTS!!!!!!!" Carrie lets go of Yogi and Yogi and Booboo walk out of Ed's door.

"Okay, our next show is Ren and Stimpy. It's a show about a talking cat and Chihuahua who get in all sorts of crazy adventures," Double D says. "And our next two guests are Ren and Stimpy!" The two whacky anthropomorphic animals walk through Ed's door.

"Why are we here again, Ren?"

"To get our show rated, you idiot!"

"Gees, I was just asking! Gosh, Ren, you're in a bad mood today!" Stimpy says.

"That's because I have to spend time listening to you!!! All you talked about all the way here is the stuff you found in your litter box!!!!"

"So, Ren and Stimpy, why don't you sit down and tell us how you've been doing since Nickelodeon took your show off the air?" Eddy asks.

"I'M NOT TELLING YOU ANYTHING, YOU FLAT-HEADED, SNOT-NOSED KID!!!!!" Ren screams.

"Whoa, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed…," May says.

"Now, Ren…" Stimpy says.

"Don't you 'now Ren' me you brain-dead idiot!!!!! I didn't even want to be on this stupid show!!!! I wanted to stay home and watch television!!! But no, I'm forced to hang around some mindless moron and a bunch of squiggly-lined, flat-headed freaks!!!!!!"

"Fine, we'll just go ahead and rate your show," Eddy says.

"Didja hear that, Ren? They're gonna rate our show!!! Isn't that great?"

"I'd rather be flushed down the toilet…"

Eddy's review:

"This show is freaking hilarious!!!! This gets a 10 hands-down. The concept is quite original, a psychotic Chihuahua and an idiotic cat who live together and get into all sorts of crazy adventures!"

Double D's review:

"I give this show a two, and that's just for originality! If it wasn't for that, it'd get a zero! Though there is some violence in it, the humor is very perverse and there's nudity!!!! Heck, I'm changing my rating to a zero!!! It doesn't even deserve the two I gave it earlier!!!!"

Ed's review:

"HAPPY!!!!!!! HAPPY!!!!!! JOY, JOY, JOY!!!!!!!!!!"

Carrie's review:

"It's fun, just like, uh………………fun!!!!"

May's review:

"This is just another one of those shows meant to be idiotic and nothing else!!!! I mean, there's not even a basic plot to it!!!!! It's just a couple of talking animals acting stupid! Heck, I give it a one."

"WHAT THE HECK!!!!???? WE COME ALL THIS WAY TO BE ON YOUR STUPID SHOW, AND GAP-TOOTH AND MISS SIMON OVER THERE GIVES US A ZERO AND A ONE!!!!!!!"

"Gees, Ren, it's their opinion. We're in America, and they have a right to their own opinion, so…"

"SO I'M GONNA HACK THEM TO PIECES!!!!!!!!" Ren pulls out a chainsaw and revs it up. Suddenly, two policemen wrestle him to the ground, take his chainsaw, and escort him out of the room. Stimpy follows.

"Whoa, that almost wasn't pretty!" Eddy says. "Eh, Ren must've had another one of his mornings. Now, we're not sure what the next show we're doing is, so would our final guest or guests come on out?" Three figures walk into Ed's room. One is short and has three long hairs growing off the top of his flat head. The middle-sized guy has a beanie on his head with three black hairs sticking out the back of it, and the tall guy has a flat head, no chin, and a furry unibrow. Everyone stares at them in amazement.

"Carrie, please tell me you've been playing with my cloning machine again!" May says in shock.

"I've been playing with your cloning machine again!" Carrie says.

"Really?"

Carrie smiles. "Nope!"

"Holy schmoly!!!" Ed exclaims.

Both Double Ds look at each other and faint. Eddy cautiously approaches the Eddy that just walked in.

"Are you guys for real?" Eddy asks, poking the other Eddy's face.

"Hey, hey, hey!!!! Don't touch me!!!!"

"I guess we have our own show!" Eddy exclaims. "WE HAVE OUR OWN SHOW!!!!"

"Actually, _we _have our own show, and we're here because we were told you guys rate shows," the other Eddy says.

"Well, let's rate this show!"

Eddy's review:

"Instant 10!!! Any show starring yours truly has to be a great show! Scamming the neighborhood kids, slurping jawbreakers, and pestering the heck out of Shovel-chin!!!! Man, I can't believe we're in our own TV show!!!"

Double D's review:

"……………………………."

Ed's review:

Ed points at his double and asks, "Who's that handsome looking fella?"

"I am Ed!"

"Cool, I am Ed, too!!!"

"WE ARE ED!!!!!!!!!" The two Eds scream in unison.

Carrie's review:

"I don't get it…"

May's review:

"For once, I have to agree with you, Carrie. How is this even possible? I can't find any scientific explanation for this! How can the Eds have their own show and not star in it themselves?" May leaves Ed's room to go to her laboratory.

"Well, that's it for our show today, so….." Suddenly, Ed is interrupted by Sarah, Ed's sister. She barges through the door.

"ED!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE IN TROUBLE, MISTER!!!!!!!! ONE OF YOUR DUMB GUESTS ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE REFRIGERATOR!!!!!!!"

The other Ed looks at the show-host Ed and says, "It wasn't me!"

"ED!!!!!" Sarah screeches angrily.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, SARAH'S GONE MAD!!!!" Carrie screams.

Both Eds start running around the room screaming, "RUN AWAY!!!!! SARAH BAD FOR ED!!!!!!!!"

"Don't you guys have some guards to protect you guys?" Eddy asks Eddy.

"Yeah, but I don't know where they are!" Sarah pounces on the cameras, shattering them.

Meanwhile, the guards are sitting in the local Dunkin Donuts eating donuts with Ren and Stimpy. And outside Ed's house, Yogi and Booboo are feasting on what they pillaged from Ed's refrigerator. Back in Ed's room, one of the Eds picks up a barely-working camera.

"The show is over, ladies and Germans!!! If we survive Sarah, we will do, um, B-movies!!!! Goodbye, and remember that Oreos are the start of a very cool day!!!" Ed smiles and waves at the camera. One of the Eddys screams in the background and Sarah breaks a mattress over Ed's head. She then stomps on the camera lens.


	6. Episode 6

**Episode 6**

**Special note: To Army of Perverts and anyone else who flames stories for no particular reason-I will NOT take down any of my fanfics and I will NOT stop writing any of my fanfics! Send me a million flames, and as long as I keep getting hits, I will ****NEVER GIVE IN TO REQUESTS TO DO SO****!!!!!!!!! Sorry for the interruption, folks! Let's get on with the fanfic!**

"Hi, folks, welcome back to Review-Eds! We've finally gotten the studio rebuilt, so we don't have to worry about Sarah wrecking our show!" Eddy says. "As you know, I'm Eddy!"

"Greetings, I'm Double D!"

"Choo-choo," Ed exclaims.

"Why do we have to introduce ourselves at the beginning of every show?" May asks. "And furthermore, this isn't really a show, but a fanfic! Why do we need cameras for a FANFIC!!!!!!???"

"I forgot what I was going to say…" Carrie says.

"Right…," Eddy says. "Anyway, this week we're reviewing B-movies, and the B-movies we're reviewing are the Japanese _Godzilla_ films, _Night of the Comet, _and the _Nightmare on Elm Street _films!"

"You didn't have to yell, Eddy…," Double D says. "Okay, our first B-movie, or should I say, movies, are the old Japanese _Godzilla _films. Unlike the American Godzilla, which was a mutated iguana, the Japanese Godzilla was originally a dinosaur called a Godzillasaurus. During final stage of the Pacific War during WWII, the Godzillasaurus rescues a small surviving legion of Japanese soldiers from American troops, and is later exposed to nuclear tests. The mutated Godzilla then becomes Japan's anti-hero, sometimes arriving on the Japanese islands to bring destruction, and other times to protect them from alien monsters and other mutations caused by Japanese nuclear testing."

"Okay, since our guest is too big to fit in the studio, we're going to have to go outside, so we're going to have to head outside for a second!" Eddy says.

"YAY, OUTSIDE!!!!!!" Carrie screams, running out the door.

"You're lucky I'm getting paid for this, Eddy!" May says angrily.

"I wonder who it is," Ed says.

"You already know, stupid!" Eddy answers. "You're the one who called him up in the first place!"

"Let's just go outside, Eddy…" Double D says. Everyone, including the cameramen go outside on the front lawn, and standing in the yard is a giant dinosaur-like creature with spines going down its back.

"Way big!" Ed says, looking up in the sky.

"Giant monster…" Carrie says in awe.

"Ed, you idiot, I told you to call the producer of the movies, not the actual star!!! Sorry, folks, we intended to have the producer arrive with a giant Godzilla balloon."

"WWWRRRROOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Subtitles: I'm glad to see you, too!)

"Well, since you're here, big Z, tell us a little about your movie role."

"WWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Subtitles: It was pretty good, even though they didn't pay me! Besides that, the movies really helped me out with my anger-management problems. Being a giant mutant dinosaur isn't all fun and games! I've accidentally squashed five of my girlfriends, crushed seven beach houses, and I have to hang around nuclear plants a lot! I HATE NUCLEAR PLANTS!!!!!)

"It's a good thing we paid to have subtitles!" Eddy says.

Double D says, "Whoa, that's rough!"

"RRROOOOAAAARRRR!!!!!" (Subtitles: Tell me about it!) "RRRRRRROOOOOOOAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Well, I can't stay around much longer, so could you guys hurry up and rate my movies so I can get back to Japan? I'm gonna miss my show!"

Eddy's review:

"A six. They weren't good, but they weren't bad. The only thing that threw me off was the horrible special effects. I mean…." Suddenly, Godzilla steps on Eddy. "Okay, okay!!! I give them a 10!!!!"

"ROAR!!!" (Subtitles: My bad! You're so small, it's hard to see you down there!)

Double D's review:

"I-I-I g-g-g-give them a t-t-t-ten!!!!"

"WWWWRRRROOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!" (Subtitles: Dude, you don't look so good! You're shaking and you're pale! If you're gonna throw up, please go inside! I just had some noodles and they're not agreeing with my stomach right now.)

Ed's review:

"He's huge! And I have all his movies! I give him a 12!!!!!"

Carrie's review:

"Cool, if he steps on people, they turn into pancakes!" Carrie looks at Eddy hungrily.

"Uh-oh," Eddy says. Carrie starts chasing the flattened Ed-boy. "HELP ME!!!!!!"

May's review:

"I'm gonna have to agree on Eddy with the whole special effects thing. I could see all the wires and the timing of the explosions were way off! However, these movies were entertaining! I mean, what could be better than watching people beat the snot out of each other in cheesy-looking monster suits and watching them get hit in the face with stringed puppets! This is a definite 10!"

"WWWWRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Subtitles: Hey, thanks for the reviews, and sorry I squashed Eddy! I think he'll be fine, though.)

"THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY!!!!!!!" Eddy screams as Carrie bites into his head. "Ouch!!!"

"RRRROOOOOAAARRRR!!!!!" (Subtitles: Uh, I think I better go…) Godzilla stomps away.

"Bye, bye," Ed says. Eddy lets out a loud, pain-filled scream.

"Um, I think we better go back inside…" Double D says. Everyone goes back inside.

"Okay, now we're gonna review our next B-movie called _Night of the Comet,_" Eddy says. Carrie bites him on the head again. "OUCH!!!!"

"Carrie, stop trying to eat Eddy!" May reprimands. "You don't know where he's been, and we probably don't want to know!"

"But he's right here, May!" Carrie answers.

"Carrie, please sit down," Double D says. "We have another movie to rate. Okay, _Night of the Comet _is about two valley-girls who wake up one morning, after a comet had passed by the Earth, and discover that all their family and friends have either disintegrated into piles of red dust, or have become cannibalistic zombie-like creatures that are slowly turning into red dust. The two girls meet up with a guy and transmit a distress signal from their local radio station. Unfortunately, their cry for help is heard by a group of scientists who knew about the comet's effects, but decided to stay in their think-tank instead of warning the planet. But, they've become exposed to radiation from the comet, and are slowly dying. Needing unexposed humans to create an antidote, they take the girls to their think-tank. The girls find out what they're doing and destroy the think-tank, along with the scientists, most of which have become ravenous zombies. Afterwards, all the zombies turn to dust and they try to resume their normal lives. Our second guests are the two girls from the movie. Please welcome our two surviving guests from the movie, Reggie and Sam!!!" At first, the crowd cheers as the backstage door swings open, but the cheers soon become shrieks of horror as they see Reggie and Sam shuffle onto the stage. Their flesh is dry and rotting and their movements are sluggish and jerky.

"MEAT!!!!" The two girls scream when they see the hosts.

"Hey, this isn't how the original movie ended!" Eddy protests. "I thought they weren't exposed to that comet!!!"

"Cool!" Ed says.

"I don't see any meat!" Carrie says.

"NOT GOOD!!!!!" Double D shrieks as the zombies move closer and closer to the hosts. The zombies bypass Double D, Ed, May, and Carrie and grab Eddy.

"WHY ME??? AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Eddy screams.

"COOL!!!!!!" Ed and Carrie yell as Eddy is torn apart.

"Uh, I think we better rate the movie fast before Eddy becomes today's lunch…" Double D says.

Eddy's review:

"No! Not the face!!! NOT THE FACE!!!!!!!"

Double D's review:

"Even though the whole idea of meter/comet-created zombies is clichéd, the movie was actually pretty unique from other B-movies before it. It contained lots of humor, but it also had the random zombie attack scenes that actually made me jump a few times! It was truly a scary comedy! I'll give it a ten!"

Ed's review:

"Ha, ha, Carrie ate Eddy!"

Double D says, "No she didn't, Ed! But our guests might…"

"OUCH!!!!! MY ARM!!!!!"

Carrie's review:

"…I found a half-eaten bologna sandwich under the chair! Maybe they're after this?"

May's review:

"I highly doubt that, Carrie! Anyway, Double D was right; this B-movie is quite different from many other B-movie/zombie movies before it. However, it wasn't all that scary. There were a few scenes that made you jump, but the zombies rarely appeared and when they did, it was either a brief scene or they were karate-chopped into submission! I guess it deserves a 7."

"Okay, the movie's rated; NOW GET THESE TWO OFF ME!!!!!!!!" Ed pulls out a can labeled "zombie repellent" and sprays Eddy. Suddenly, Reggie and Sam scream in horror and then they run offstage.

"I'm glad that's over," Eddy says. "Now let's get on with the show!"

"But Eddy, you've been bitten by zombies!" Ed says. "In all the movies I've watched, anyone bitten by a zombie becomes a zombie!"

"That's only if they break the skin, Ed," May adds. "Eddy should be fine, as long as he keeps his mouth shut! The last thing he needs is another guest attacking him!"

"Right," Eddy says. "Our final review is for the _Nightmare on Elm Street _movies, created by Wes Craven. The series of movies are about a badly-burned man that wears a glove with blades welded onto it and kills people in their sleep in some gruesome or completely wacky way."

"That was very good, Eddy!" Double D says.

"Whatever, just introduce our final guest…"

"Very well, Eddy, our final guest is none other than Freddy Kruger!" A man wearing a green and red sweater, a fedora hat, and a glove with metal blades attached to the fingers walks casually on stage. His face is badly burned and covered in huge blisters and burns.

"FREDDY!!!!!!!" Ed yells. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been better," Freddy answers. "I'm gonna have to replace my glove; the blades are starting to rust!"

"Ed, how do you know all of these people?" Eddy asks.

"I eat cereal, Eddy!"

"I bet you do…"

"Yeah, Ed somehow got my d-mail address and he sends me five thousand d-mails a day…" Freddy states with a bit of malice in his voice.

"Ed, how did you get Freddy's e-mail address?" May asks.

"Um, only the Claw knows!!!!"

"Enough with the talking-thing! I came to get my movies rated, not listen to a bunch of annoying kids ramble on and on about crap! Now rate my movies, and give them high ratings, OR ELSE I'LL HAVE A LITTLE FUN TONIGHT WHILE YOU'RE ALL ASLEEP!!!!!!"

Eddy's review:

"Okay!!! I give it a ten!!!!"

Double D's review:

"Same here!!!!"

Ed's review:

"Ditto!"

Carrie's review:

"You look silly when you yell!"

May's review:

"I'm not afraid of you. You are a fictional character from a series of horror movies and therefore don't exist!"

"Oh, crap!" Mr. Kruger says before he disappears in a puff of smoke.

"Now, back to the review. I give the _Nightmare on Elm Street _movies a five. The first film was fairly good, but they just got worse and worse with every sequel."

"Well, that wraps it up for today's show," Eddy says. "See ya next week!"

"Gravy!"

"Watch your step on the way out and have a nice day!" Double D says.

"You're all a bunch of illiterate idiots!" May shouts.

Carrie says, "What happened to the building getting destroyed!? That's always fun!"

Suddenly, the roof is lifted off by Godzilla. "WROAR!!!!!" (Subtitles: See ya around!)

Reggie and Sam appear from out of nowhere and attack Eddy again. Freddy appears again and starts laughing at Eddy.

"Oh, dear, not again…" Double D says.

"TURN THE CAMERAS OFF, DOUBLE D!!!!!!!!!!" Eddy screams. Double D quickly follows orders, and the screen goes blank.

Note: All reviews are not my opinions and are only meant to reflect the actual reactions of the characters if they ever really did such a show. Okay, you know the drill, if you want to see a specific show, movie, video game, or cartoon, tell me and it will appear on a future episode of "Review-Eds"


	7. Episode 7

**Episode 7**

"Hiya, folks," Eddy says. "Welcome to a special episode of Review-Eds! And as you already know, we're Eddy, Ed, Double D, May, and Carrie!"

"Eddy, will you buy me a happy meal?" Ed asks.

"No, now sit down and shut up, Monobrow!" Ed sits back down. "Okay, this week's a special episode of Review-Eds because our show, _Ed, Edd and Eddy, _has been nominated for this year's Kid's Choice Awards, and we've decided to review the shows that are running against us, _The Simpsons, Avatar: The Last Airbender, _and _Spongebob Squarepants_. Also, before we get started, we've decided to let an older cartoon character visit and help review the shows. Please welcome Brak!" A cat-like creature with red and black facial fur walks onstage.

"Hello, buddy-buddies," Brak says, wrapping his arms around all the hosts.

"Let go of me!" May says, throwing his arm off of her. "I'm not your 'buddy-buddy'!"

"Oh…hey, Eddy, can I sing a song?"

"No, now sit down!"

"Too bad!" Brak pulls out a microphone and starts singing (in a horrible voice), "I LOVE YOU, BABY!!!!! I love the way you walk, I love the way you talk…"

"His voice is like toothpicks in my drumsticks, Eddy!!!!" Ed wails.

"Make him stop," Carrie screams. "MAKE HIM STOP!!!!!!"

"BRAK, SHUT UP!!!!!!! NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOU SING!!!!! GOSH, YOU SOUND LIKE A DYING ANIMAL!!!!!!!"

"Y-you mean, no one wants to hear me sing!?" Brak asks. Brak then runs offstage crying.

"Eddy, that was rude!" Double D snaps.

"No, that was Brak!" Ed says, correcting his friend.

"Right…" Eddy says. "Okay, our first show is _The Simpsons._ It's about a crazy family living in the city of Springfield. Most of the adults are idiots and seemingly get into trouble more than the kids."

"There you go again, Eddy," Double D adds. "You're taking my part, yet again! I'm the one who's supposed to explain the plot of the show!"

"Well, I thought we could change it up a bit, I'll explain the show and then you explain the next one."

Ed then says, "Can I explain the plot of a show?"

"NO!!!!!!" Everyone but Ed and Carrie shouts bitterly.

"Oh, yeah….um, NO!!!!!" Carrie shouts. "Wait, why did everyone yell 'no'?"

"Don't strain yourself, Carrie…" May adds.

"Okay, our first guest is Bart Simpson!" Double D announces. "Sorry if you were expecting Homer, but Carrie has a phobia of Homer…" Suddenly, a kid with yellow skin and a flat, spiky head skateboards through the stage door and stops in front of Eddy.

"Ed, my man! How's it goin'?" Bart says, high-fiving Ed.

"Bart! I haven't seen you since we both went to the opening premier of _Revenge of the Sith_"

"I went to that premier!" Carrie says. "I saw it in a Korean theater, and all the characters spoke Korean. That was the second worst day of my life because I can't speak Korean…"

"Um, aren't you guys supposed to be rating my show?" Bart interrupts.

"But I thought the show was about the Simpsons as a family," Double D says.

"That's what The Man wants you to think," Bart says. "And by 'The Man', I mean Matt Groening."

Eddy's review:

"I like Bart! He's just like me! Listen, Bart, any time you feel like pulling off a scam, feel free to call me up!" Eddy puts his hand on Bart's shoulder.

"Don't touch me!"

"See? Exactly like me, except for the yellow skin. I give _The Simpsons_ a 10! The show's funny and it has Bart in it!"

Double D's review:

"I can let the violence slide, but this show contains cursing and perverted humor, two things that I don't tolerate! I give the show a 1!"

"What's your problem, Mr. I-wear-a-sock-on-my-head? C'mon, man, get with the times! It's the new millennium! Most of the most popular cartoons curse and use perverted humor! At least give the show a 9.5!

"NO I MOST CERTAINLY WILL NOT CHANGE MY RATING, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!"

"You're not welcome," Bart says, annoyed. 

Ed's review:

"Bart is cool, Double D, and you shouldn't be so hard on Bart's show!"

"Yeah, Sockhead!"

"Yeah, um, Sockhead!" Bart adds. "Sockhead? That's a good one! Ha, ha, ha!!!!"

Carrie's review:

"Homer is EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Got that right!" Bart says. "He's also annoying."

May's review:

"I thought the show was fairly entertaining so I'm giving the show an 8…hey, wait a second! You're the little brat that put Gorilla Glue on my doorknob three months ago!!!! My hand was stuck to the door for hours!!!!!!!"

"Uh-oh," Bart says. "I think I better go…" Bart skateboards offstage and May throws her chair at him.

"Okay," Double D says. "Our next show is called _Avatar: The Last Airbender. _It's a Nickelodeon anime show that's based around elemental manipulation, such as fire, wind, water, and earth. The show centers around a young Airbender named Aang, who is trying to master all forms of bending so he can defeat the aggressive and power-hungry Lord Ozai, the leader of the Firebenders. The series itself is yet to be completed, and it is quite possible that, due to its popularity, there will be another season sometime this year."

"See, Double D? I told you this rotation-thing would work out! Now that that's out of the way, let's bring in our next guests, Aang, Katara, Sokka, and Momo!!!"

Three kids walk onto the stage. One guy is short and bald and has a blue arrow tattooed on his head, the other is taller and has his hair tied in a short ponytail, and the last person is a girl with braided hair. The bald kid has a white and black-furred lemur sitting on his shoulders.

"This corndog thing is delicious!" Sokka says with a corndog shoved in his mouth. "You guys want to try one?"

"Uh, no thanks, Sokka," Katara says.

"More for me!!! Mmm! These are good!"

"Hey, are you the guys who sent this scroll saying to come here?" Aang asks.

"That's us, Cueball!" Eddy replies.

"Eddy, don't be rude!" Double D snaps.

"Whatever, Sockhead, let's just rate the show and quit wasting time!"

"Before you rate our show, does anyone want this last corndog?" Everyone stares angrily at Sokka. "No one? All right!" Sokka crams the corndog in his mouth.

Eddy's review:

"I give it a 7.5. For me, the comic moments distract from the action, and a lot of things are really confusing. Other than that, it has some nice action sequences."

"Double D's review:

"I give it a 5 because I've only seen one episode, and so far, I don't really understand it… I mean, it does look interesting, but like I said, I've only seen one episode."

Ed's review:

"Aang kind of looks like Charlie Brown and Sokka kinda looks like Shikamaru from _Naruto_!"

Carrie's review:

"I wanted that last corndog!"

"Well, you weren't fast enough!" Sokka says.

May's review:

"A nine. Most of the explanations given in the show are pretty basic and easy to follow, but it takes concept that's re-used in anime cartoons, such as chakra and element-manipulation."

"Thanks, I guess," Aang says.

"Great, we're done!" Sokka says. "Now, let's go get some more corndogs!"

"Honestly, Sokka, is food all you think about?" Katara asks.

"No, I occasionally think about other stuff."

"Oh, yeah, like what?"

"Well, uh, remember that time I thought of that great shortcut?"

"Yeah!" Aang says. "Didn't we get lost?" The trio walks out the door.

"Okay, now on to our final cartoon, _Spongebob Squarepants_!" Eddy announces. "This show is about a yellow sponge that lives in the underwater city of Bikini Bottom! Hmm, maybe I should move there…"

"Eddy, keep your mind out of the gutter!!!" May and Double D yell.

"Fine, fine, the titular character, Spongebob, is a fry-cooking sponge that wears square pants, and surprise, surprise! Our final guest is, Spongebob Squarepants!!!"

A bipedal, square sponge walks out on stage. He's wearing a square white collared shirt with a red tie and box-shaped pants. He has buck teeth and large blue eyes. Over his head is a glass bowl filled with water.

"Hello, kind surface-dwellers and thank you for letting me be a part of your show!" Spongebob says.

"OH, MY GOSH!!!! IT'S A GIANT PIECE OF CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!" Carrie screams. Spongebob screams in horror as Carrie devours him.

"Carrie, how many times have I told you not to eat the guests!?" May shouts.

"I can't remember…" Carrie answers.

Eddy's review:

"Uh, I give it a nine…"

Double D's review:

"Um, yeah…"

"Ed's review:

"Spongebob is who inspired me to collect sponges!"

Carrie's review:

"It needs hot sauce…"

May's review:

"I guess a seven is good enough. The show does have some moments that are completely idiotic, but other than that, the concept is pretty original. However, Mr. Squarepants' pants are NOT square, they are rectangular!"

"Um, I guess that's all the time we have for today, so bye!!!" Eddy says.

"Why are we ending so soon, Eddy?" Double D says.

"Because we just got a call from Spongebob's creator, Derek Drymon, and he's not happy!!!" Suddenly, two men dressed in black business suits barge onstage.

"Are you Eddy Skipper McGee?" One of the men asks.

"Uh, why do you want to know?"

"Because you're being sued by Nickelodeon for one million dollars because we're holding you responsible for the death of Spongebob!"

Spongebob crawls out of Carrie's mouth and says, "I'm not dead! I'm perfectly fine, except I'm covered in drool and I have stomach acid in my ears."

"Well, you're still being sued, Mr. McGee!"

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!!" Eddy screams as he tries to run away, but the lawyers catch him and carry him offstage. "No!!! No!!!!!! NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The camera suddenly turns off.

Note: All reviews are not my opinions and are only meant to reflect the actual reactions of the characters if they ever really did such a show. Okay, you know the drill, if you want to see a specific show, movie, video game, or cartoon, tell me and it will appear on a future episode of "Review-Eds" Also, I have a poll on my profile so you can vote for a category, and the winning category will be used the following week.


	8. Episode 8

Episode 8

Episode 8

Written by: Black Omochao

Edited by: Half-wit Ed-boy

The Eds, Carrie and May walk in, talking amongst themselves.

"I just don't feel comfortable with a new author," Eddy says.

"Um, sir, we're on the air," one camera man said.

"What," Eddy shouts. "Oh, hello folks and welcome to a special episode of ReviewEDs! It's special because from this episode on a new author, Black Omochao, will be writing this for Half-wit Ed-boy, and Black Omochao has decided that, for this episode, we

review three movies specifically requested by him and after that will be getting

back to taking reviewer requests!"

"Nothing has changed significantly," May says. "I still hate being here…"

"My name is Ed," Ed says.

"What's an author?" Carrie asks.

"Uh…" Double D says, unsure of what to say.

"So anyway," Eddy continues, "the movies we're reviewing are: Lilo

& Stitch, Pokemon the rise of Darkrai, and Spiderman 3"

"That's correct, Eddy," Double D says. "And our first movie we're reviewing is kind of an oldie, Lilo & Stitch. Lilo & Stitch is about a little Hawaiian girl named Lilo who lives on the island of Kauai. Since Lilo is friendless and hated by all the other children in her hula class, her sister Nani takes her to the animal shelter to adopt a dog, but unknown to them the dog they adopt is a genetic experiment from another planet. Despite his odd behavior and appearance, Lilo takes him home and names him Stitch, however Stitch's destructive programming, the two of them get into a lot of trouble, but they eventually become best friends, and try to avoid the escaped mad scientist who created him. But later…."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Sockhead! Let's move along, so please welcome our first gests: Lilo and Stitch!" Eddy points to a door where a little Hawaiian girl wearing a

red dress with white leaves walks in with a strange blue creature walk in.

"Hi everyone!" Lilo says as she waves.

"Aloha" Stitch says, also waving.

"That was rude, Eddy! So, Lilo and Stitch, tell us how things are going lately?" Double D asks.

"Well pretty well, I guess," Lilo answers. "I'm doing good in class and Stitch is taking English classes to learn how to talk clearer."

"Ih," Stitch says. "I'm…"

"Well, folks, let's get to the review part," Eddy says. Stitch growls at him.

Eddy's review:

"Eh, I give Lilo & Stitch a 5. It wasn't that good but it wasn't that bad. First off, Stitch was awesome a little guy that can lift 30 times his own weight, but Nani completely ruined the movie! She was a complete killjoy! However, she looked great in a bikini…"

"Eddy, please keep your head out of the gutter," Double D says, scolding his friend.

"You got that right," Lilo says. "She won't let me and Stitch go to Mars and fight aliens!"

"Big killjoy," Stitch adds, folding his arms.

Double D's review:

"I give it a 7. It had its good moments and taught some vary valuable lessons, but there was some violent scenes in it, like people being shot at and being hit with cars!" Stitch laughs sinisterly.

Ed's review:

"Stitch is short like Eddy, he eats everything like Carrie, and he's smart

like Double D and May, so give him a cupcake!" Ed hands Stitch a cupcake and he eats it.

Carries review:

"I wanted that cupcake!" Carrie wines.

"Too bad," Stitch says.

May's review:

"I give this movie a 3! It was completely unrealistic, and half the time I couldn't understand a thing Stitch was saying! Also why did Jumbaa suddenly turn good after a quick talk with Stitch! Usually it takes more than just a quick little talk to convert evil geniuses! But, I guess it did teach some important lessons, like Double D said."

"Oh well if that's it well be going," Lilo says. "Thanks for the reviews!" 

"LETS GO TO PIZZA HUT!" Stitch yells as he and Lilo walk offstage.

"PIZZA!!" Carrie yells, but May grabs her arm.

"You're not going anywhere," May said. "We still have to sit through this torture." Carrie frowns.

"Okay,' Eddy says, "our next movie is Pokemon: The Rise of Darkrai. This is, yet another Pokemon movie, only this one is about Ash, Dawn, and Brock going to a city only to discover weird happenings. At first they believe that the mysterious Pokemon Darkrai is responsible, but it is later discovered that the two legendary Pokemon Dialga and Palkia are responsible and with Darkrai's help Ash and Pikachu are able to stop Dialga and Palkia's rampage. So, welcome our second guest, Darkrai!"

Double D points to the same door Lilo and Stitch came out of but this time a dark ghost like Creature emerges.

"Hello," Darkrai says.

"IT SAID SOMETHING!! Ed, are these Pokemon things supposed to talk normal?"

"I don't know, Eddy."

"Duh, all Pokemon can speak perfect English offset," Darkrai says. "Now get on with the review so I can get out of here and run some errands!"

Eddy's review:

"I give it a 6. Like I said I used to like Pokemon and this movie was pretty good, but I didn't like Darkrai vary much. I mean, all he does is give people nightmares! How bad could that be?"

"Oh, really? Well, let's see how _you _like it?" Darkrai says, blasting Eddy with one of his nightmare spheres and Eddy falls asleep.

"No, my money…" Eddy says in his sleep.

Double D's review:

"I give this movie a 3. I honestly don't understand it, just like the anime."

"What's to understand? It's an anime about some kids traveling around and catching and battling Pokemon" Darkrai says. "Man, you must be pretty dense not to get that."

Ed's review

"Darkrai is cool! I give him a 10!" Ed give Darkrai a sheet of paper with a 10 on it.

Carries review:

"I've got nothing to give it but a piece of string. Here you go." Carrie gives Darkrai a piece of string.

"Um...thanks," Darkrai says, staring at the string.

May's review:

"I give this movie a 1, it was completely stupid! Two creatures that can control space and time!? That's completely irrelevant! And as Double D proved it could prove to be difficult for one to understand if he or she is unfamiliar with how everything works."

"Well if Ms. GROUCH is done I'll be on my way," Darkrai said as he floated away.

"Help, Kevin's beating me up!" Eddy says in his sleep.

"Quick Ed, get a bucket of water," Double D exclaims.

Ed runs off and comes back with a bucked of crushed ice.

"Wakey, wakey, time for cakey," Ed says, holding the bucket over Eddy.

"Ed, no, wait!" Double says, but Ed dumps the bucket of crushed ice over Eddy's head and it wakes him up.

"WOW! THAT'S COLD!!" Eddy screams. May laughs at him.

"But where's the cakey," Carrie says. "I'm getting hungry!"

"Anyway," Eddy says, scowling at May, "Our last movie is Spiderman 3. Take it away, Sockhead!"

"Okay, Eddy. In Spiderman 3, Spiderman gets an alien symbiote attached to him. At first it appears that the creature is making Spiderman stronger but it is soon discovered that it wants to take over Spiderman, but Spiderman is unable to pull it off, and only after a church bell rings he is able to rid himself from the symbiote. Unbeknownst to him, the symbiote attaches to Eddie Brock transforming him into Venom. The movie pits Spiderman against Venom and the Sandman, and in the end, Spiderman teams up with Harry Osborn and defeats them both.

"Okay," Eddy says, "welcome our next guest, Spider…"

Eddy is suddenly cut off by a guy in a black Spiderman suit with a mouth full of sharp teeth crashing through the wall.

"VENOM!?" everyone but Ed and Carrie screams in surprise.

Ed screams, "Cool!" in Eddy's face. Eddy cleans his ear out and stomps up to Venom.

"Venom, what the heck are you doing here!? We invited Spiderman!"

"Well he's a little, tied up at the moment," Venom said with a sinister smile. Meanwhile Spiderman is tied to the front of a train headed for somewhere in the Southwestern part of the US. "So, review my movie, or else!!"

"It's not your movie," Eddy says. "It's…."

"MY MOVIE!!" Venom screams as Eddy sinks down in his seat.

Eddy's review:

"This movie was freaking awesome! Venom was great! He wasn't going to stop torturing Spiderman till Spiderman was dead! I give it a 10!" Eddy looks up at Venom and grins sheepishly.

Double D's review:

"This movie wasn't that bad, aside from the violence. But, I'm not that big a fan of sequels. I give it a 5."

"You will die for that," Venom hisses.

Ed's review:

"I give it a 10! I got a whole stack of Spiderman comics in my room, right next to the Evil Tim comics!" Ed said

"Good kid, but he smells bad," Venom says

.

Carries review:

Carrie pulls out a giant flyswatter and screams, "SQUASH THE SPIDER!!"

Venom screams as the flyswatter crushes him, leaving a black, gooey mess on the floor.

"Ha, ha! I made him go, 'squash'!"

May's review:

"This movie wasn't that bad. It stayed pretty true to the comics but I found it pretty unrealistic in the standards of how the Sandman got his powers. Falling in a particle accelerator wouldn't give you the power to control sand! It would give you cancer or just kill you, I guess it deserves a 4."

"Well, I guess that wraps the show up for today, so…"

Suddenly, Eddy is interrupted by Darkrai, who appears on the stage.

"You stole my wallet, you flat-headed freak! Give it back!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Eddy says.

"Really? Then, what's this?" Darkrai pulls his wallet out of Eddy's pocket.

Eddy grins sheepishly and says, "How did that get in there…" Darkrai blasts him again, putting him to sleep.

"Bye, folks!" Darkrai says, waving at the camera.

Venom's face reforms in the mess. "Goodbye, you pathetic-OOF!!" Carrie squashes his face with her flyswatter.

"Die, bug!"

Lilo and Stitch walk in holding Pizza Hutt pizza.

"Bye!" Stitch says, waving all four of his arms.

"Aw, but I don't want the show to end!" Ed says.

"Well, Ed, we can't always have what we want now, can we?" May says. "I'd prefer the show to end permanently, but I don't believe that will happen."

"Um, next time, we'll do video games," Double D says. "So goodbye for now and have a nice day!"

Black Omochao's note: just as with Half-wit Ed-boy the opinions are not my own but are to keep the hosts in character anyway review and your suggestion will appear in a future episode of ReviewEDs.


	9. Episode 9

Episode 9

Episode 9

The Eds, Carrie, and May are sitting in their chairs, having a random conversation.

"That makes absolutely no sense Carrie," Double D says.

"Yeah, everyone knows you eat Oreos for breakfast," Ed said. "And may I say that's it's the start of a very cool day!!!"

"Um, dudes," a cameraman says, "we're on the air so, can you like….."

"We are!?" Eddy says in shock. He then grabs Ed's throat. "Ed you idiot!!! You were supposed to tell me when….." Eddy sees that the cameras are rolling and he lets Ed go. "Oh, hiya, folks and welcome to….."

"Uh, sorry to interrupt Eddy but I must inform you that along with the normal 3 reviews, Black Omochao has requested we do a review on something of his choice," Double D says.

"WHAT!? NOW WE HAVE TO DO 4 STINKING REVIEWS!?" Eddy yells angrily.

"As if being on this program wasn't already bad enough…." May says.

Eddy then says, "I better get paid for this!!! Well, anyway the Video Games were reviewing are Super Smash Bros Brawl, Sonic and Mario at the Olympic games, Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn and Black Omochao's pick for a Review is, Alien Hominid? Okay, fine by me! Take it on home, Sockhead!!!"

"Okay, Eddy!" Double D says with a smile. "First we shall do Black Omochao's request. Alien Hominid is a game that started out as a simple flash game on a site now famous for having the most flash games and flash movies on the internet. Alien Hominid is the first internet flash game ever to be made into a console game, and the story begins when

Alien Hominid crash-lands on earth and the FBI confiscates his ship. He then must fight his through the city, avoiding desperate FBI agents, and getting help from some fat kids, the yeti, and other aliens. Everyone please welcome the Alien Hominoid!!!" An alien walks in holding a green laser gun.

"Hello, Earthlings!" Alien Hominid says.

"Hey, you can't have weapons on the set!!!" Eddy shouts

"Whoa! Take it easy!!! It's just a prop." The Alien Hominoid squeezes his gun and it squeaks.

"So, Alien Hominoid, how's your career been since your game went from a simple flash game on the internet to a console game?" Eddy asks.

"Actually pretty good! I never expected it to take off like it has. At first I wanted a role in one of the _Alien_ movies, but they told me I wasn't good enough, so for a while, I was out of work, until I got a call saying that some game designers needed an alien for some game on the internet. Now, I'm living off the money both games are making and trying to cut down on the brains I eat. I only eat the brains of people that I dislike." the Alien Hominoid says.

"Yeah, but too bad you don't have as many games as we have!!!" Eddy brags. "Well, let's review this game!!!"

Eddy's review:

"I love this game, I really like shooting those boring FBI guys and running around and taking control of people, but I hate the mini-games!!! Ed always cheats, so I give it an 8."

"Thanks for the high rating, but how exactly do you cheat on a mini game?" Alien Hominoid asks.

"Well, uh.....SHUT UP!!!!!!!"

"Hmm, your head just started looking tastier….." Alien Hominoid says, glaring at Eddy.

Double D's review:

"This game will get no high rating from me!!!! I normally try lax on violent games since there are so many, but this game is extremely violent!!!!! If you saw what those FBI agents did to the civilians in this game, you'd see why it's so violent!!! But this game does have some fun multiplayer modes to play with your friends, so I give it a 4."

"Hey, it's just a game. The violence isn't real; at least give it a 5…."

"No! I refuse to change my rating!!!"

Ed's review:

"I really like this game, Alien Hominid is short like Eddy and he wears tons of hats like Double D, so I shall name him Eddy D!!!! or maybe Derik…."

"...what's with you?"

"That's just how Ed is…." Double D says. "Loveable oaf! And Ed, didn't you already say something like that with Link?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Double D."

Carrie's review:

"…..hey, what planet are you from?"

"I'm a character that was created here on Earth, so Earth is my home. Why do you ask?"

"It won't be, because the Earth will be gone in just a few seconds!!! It blocks Marvin the Martian's view of Venus!!!"

"Okay, I'm sick and tired of that stereotype!!! We aliens are not interested in blowing up Earth!!!! And I know Marvin personally, and he has no intentions of blowing up the world."

May's review:

"This game does not deserve higher than a 1. I thought the playability was terrible and the graphics were below mediocre."

"Whoa, tough critic! You're tougher than that other guy!!!"

Suddenly, FBI agents from the game appear.

"Alien Hominoid, you are wanted by the FBI. Please surrender immediately!"

"For the last time, IT'S ONLY A GAME!!!!!" Alien Hominoid runs offstage with the agents chasing him.

"Um, next we have Super Smash Bros Brawl," Double D says. "In this game…."

"Everyone knows what this games about Double D!" Eddy interrupts.

"Eddy, that was rude! Anyway welcome are next guest Master hand!"

A giant, white, floating hand floats on stage.

"Hello," Master hand says. Suddenly, Carrie pounces on him and bites off his thumb. "OUCH!!! AAAHHHH!!!! MY THUMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Carrie, how many times must I tell you not to eat the guests!!!!" Carrie ignores Double D and bites Master Hand. Eddy laughs.

"Carrie," Double D says, pulling out a cookie. "Go get the cookie!!!" He throws it over his shoulder and Carrie goes after it, freeing Master Hand.

Well, that was exciting…." Double D says, faking a smile.

"Can we hurry this along before I lose another finger!?"

"Fine, we'll skip to the reviews," Eddy says.

Eddy's review:

"It wasn't bad at all! I give it an 8, but I liked Melee better."

"Why?"

"Because it didn't have that lame R.O.B in it!!!!"

"Everybody's a critic," R.O.B says, popping out from behind the chairs. He then rolls offstage.

Double D's review:

"This game deserves a 10! The game was greatly improved and the online game play was most invigorating!"

"Thanks!" Master Hand says.

Ed's review:

"I like this game, I give it a subscription to Chunky Puffs Quarterly!" Ed reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a coupon for school supplies.

"...oh this will come in handy for when my child goes back to school! If I had a child…." Master Hand mumbles.

Carrie's review:

"You taste good!"

Master hand backs away in fear.

"I don't feel comfortable around you anymore…"

May's review:

"I concur with Double D on this game's enhancements; however I found it to be too much like the original, so for its repetition I only give it a 5."

"Very well, then. I'm going to leave now…." Master Hand floats offstage.

"Next we have Sonic and Mario at the Olympic games. This is the first game ever where Sonic and Mario appear together, this game puts you in control of a character from ether the Mario series or the Sonic series and you can play many real-live Olympic events. So, here are our next guests, Sonic and Mario!!!" Both Sonic and Mario walk out on stage.

"It's great to be…"

"A PLUMBER!!!!" Carrie screams, interrupting the blue hedgehog.

"Yeah….it's good to be back on the show," Sonic says.

"Yes! I'm-a glad to be-a…"

"EVIL PLUMBER!!!!" Carrie screams, interrupting Mario.

"Um, let's just get to the reviews…." Eddy says.

Eddy's review:

"This game was a complete bore-fest!!! What's the point of doing a game on sports!? You know what, I'm gonna give it a 2!!!"

"Don't be like that," Sonic says. "The game is full of…."

"SNORE'S VILLE!" Eddy screams.

Double D's review:

"Eddy that was rude!!! Anyway the accuracy to the real Olympic stadium is a definite bonus, and I found the all the games exhilarating, so I give it a 9."

"I-a like you, kid," Mario says.

Ed's review:

"Sonic and Mario are cool!, I give them my lunch from my first day of kindergarten!!!" Ed hands them a smelly paper bag.

"That's ok!!! I'm not hungry!!!!" Sonic says, backing away.

"I-a am!!" Mario says, eating the bag.

Carrie's review:

"PLUMBERS!!!!!!!!!!!!"

May's review:

"I grow weary of this nonsense, so I'll just give the game a 6."

"Cool! Well, see ya!!!" Sonic says, walking offstage.

"Bye," Mario says, following Sonic. "Hey, will you-a buy me-a Big-a Mac?"

"NO!!!!"

"And now for our last game, Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn!" Eddy says. "This game is a sequel to Path of Radiance, and if you have it, you can transfer your data over to Radiant Dawn. The game picks up from the prequel with people trying to recover from the war, and as the game goes on, conflicts eventually erupt into another war, that leads to giant war at the Tower of Guidance, where two goddesses fight each other with two massive armies. With us today is a playable character named Soren. Everybody put your hands together for Soren!"

"Hello," Soren says. Ed walks up to Soren and smiles a big smile.

"Hello!!! My name is Ed! Do you like gravy?"

"Idiocy," Soren mumbles. "Ugh, you smell horrible!!! Tell your friend to stand away from me so he doesn't kill me with his pungent odor!!!" Ed frowns and sits down.

"Okay, Soren," Eddy says. "How's it…."

"Cut the chatter and get to the review. I really don't enjoy being here."

"Oh-kay, very well, then," Double D says.

Eddy's review:

"The game wasn't all that bad. I have to say, it was very addictive. I give it a seven."

Double D's review:

"The game was okay, but there were some parts that I thought were really confusing, probably since I haven't played any of the other Fire Emblem games….."

"Oh, just get on with the review, man!!!!"

"Oh, dear," Double D says. "That was rude! Anyway I give it a seven as well."

Ed's review:

"Hold on there, mister! Strudel gives me gas!"

"………………….What!? That wasn't a review! What's your problem?"

Carrie's review:

"I'm glad you're not Mama Luigi!!! He's scarier than the fat red plumber that was here!!!"

"What is with you people!?"

May's review.

"I've had it!!! I can't take this anymore! I refuse to partake in this ridiculousness any longer!!!!"

"What did you say?" Eddy asks.

"Ugh, in terms you are capable of comprehending, I quit!!!!" May stands to her feet and walks toward the door.

"Hey!!! You can't quit!!! We have to have five hosts!!!!

"That is none of my concern. I am through with this absurdity and shall not partake in it any longer!!!" May walks out the door and leaves.

"Does this mean I can leave?" Soren asks.

"NO!!! You can't until you get a rating from our fifth host!!!"

"Hello, Ed-boys!!!!" Rolf says, barging through the front door. "What are you doing?" Eddy looks at Rolf and grins.

"Hey, Rolfy-boy!!! We're doing a TV show!"

"You mean Rolf is on TV!?" Rolf exclaims, looking into the camera. "Hello, Victor!!"

"Um, excuse me," Soren says, "when are you going to rate the video game I'm representing!?"

"What? Fine!!!! You get another seven!! Now get off my set! I'm making Rolf a TV star!"

"You mean, Rolf gets to be on your TV show!?"

"Sure, Stretch!!! You'll be perfect for ReviewEDs!!!!!"

"So that means we have……..ten guests!!" Carrie says.

"Actually we have five again," Double D says.

"Rolf would like to thank his great nana for this honor!"

"Yeah, um, the show is about over for today, so you better….."

"Rolf is the son of a shepherd and Rolf comes from the land across the great sea and has journeyed here with his great nana. Rolf had to face a giant sea cucumber and the beast….."

Eddy shoves Rolf out of the way and says, "Okay, that's all the time we have, so see ya next time!!!"

Suddenly, a goat charges onto the studio.

"Victor!? What are you doing here? Rolf told you to…." Suddenly, Victor attacks a camera-man, sending him flying into the wall. "Run for you lives, Ed-boys as Victor has eaten nana's stuffed cabbages!!!"

"Well, uh, that's our show for today," Double D says. "See you next time when we review TV shows."

Victor then lowers his head towards Eddy.

"No!!! Wait!!! Victor!!!!" Eddy says, waving his hands. Victor ignores Eddy's gestures and head butts him, sending him flying into an electrical outlet. Eddy then feels a large amount of voltage surging through his body and he screams. The camera suddenly cuts off.

Black Omochao's note: Just as with Half-wit Ed-boy the opinions are not my own but are to keep the hosts in character. Anyway review and your suggestion will appear in a future episode of ReviewEDs.


End file.
